What Are Words
by Aesha
Summary: One week - that's seven days, 168 hours, 10080 minutes or 604800 seconds. Any way you look at it, that's how long she has till her wedding day. He's supposed to be up there with her, but instead, he'll be sitting on the side watching her take the hand of another man. How did their love come to this point?
1. day one

**Disclaimer**: I do not own Card Captor Sakura, or its characters—CLAMP does. Any resemblance of events or characters to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

**Author's Notes**: May I present my very last fanfic, which is very simple in terms of plot—one might even use the word 'boring'. Story is requested by and dedicated to Jenna (_saihaite no kimi_) – by the way, Jenna, I hate you. Just saying. C:

* * *

「what ◦ _are_ ◦ words」

**Day ****O****ne**

.◦.  
_Anywhere you are, I am near.  
Anywhere you go, I'll be there._  
.◦.

"Aw, come on, don't look like that. We've already discussed this," said Syaoran before returning his attention to the book in his hand. "Tokyo is only two hours away. I'll come back every weekend, I promise."

"Why do you even have to attend Todai? Tomoeda University is _just_ as good!" said Sakura, doing the exact opposite and laying her eyes on anything and everything except the words on the pages in front of her. "Our law program is pretty good. I mean, it's not like 'Top-5-in-the-country' kind of good, but it's still pretty good. And just so you know, Tomoeda has something very important and Tokyo doesn't—you might want to think on that!"

Syaoran lifted his head to look at her again. "Oh? And what's that?"

"Me!"

Syaoran cracked a smile. "That _is_ a deal breaker."

Sakura pouted and slouched back against the headboard, knowing that she'd already lost the argument.

"Hey...what's wrong?" Syaoran asked, feeling concern. It was unusual for Sakura act like this, especially because they'd gone through this conversation like a hundred times already and every time they would come to the same conclusion: that it was going to be okay, and everything will work out in the end.

"Ninety-nine percent of me is praying that you get into Todai," she said. "But the other one percent is quietly hoping that you don't. I—I feel like such a horrible girlfriend…but I don't want us to be separated; I'm scared of what might happen. You'll be so far away. We won't be able to climb through each other's windows anymore, and you won't be the first and last person I see every day. I'm afraid that I'll miss you so much, I won't know what to do."

Syaoran laughed.

"Sakura, in my world, we have these things called cellphones and webcams," he said.

"Yeah, but they say most long distance relationships don't last!"

"We'll be okay," Syaoran said.

Sakura was taken off guard not by his response but the way he had said it: No hesitation. Of course, she had known that he was going to say something sweet to sooth her worries and fears away—it's what boyfriends do, or are supposed to do, even though they never mean half of the things they say—but she hadn't expected such a quick and honest response from him.

"How can you be so sure?" she asked, softly. Because she wasn't—she wasn't confident at all. She knew with every fiber of her being that things were going to change between them—whether for better or worse, she wasn't entirely sure. But she didn't the idea of change.

"I can't control the future, but I can certainly dictate it," Syaoran replied. Setting his book aside, he looked up at her with the most mesmerizing amber eyes, and Sakura began to wonder why it had taken her so long to fall for this boy—sixteen years to be exact.

She still remembered, rather vividly, the day he'd confessed his feelings to her—although she wasn't sure if 'confessing' was an accurate way of putting it. His words had been engraved on her mind since that day—_For years now, I've looked at and thought of you in ways that if Touya can see what I'm thinking, he would probably castrate and skin me alive. I can't pinpoint how it happened or how long I've had these feelings…but I think I LIKE you—which is crazy, because we're practically like brother and sister! We took baths together as children for Pete's sake. What I'm feeling, it's not normal, but I can't help it. Every time I look at you, I can't help thinking to myself: goddamn, I really want to kiss her. And your image always comes to mind when I masturbate. Do you know how torturous it is masturbating to your Facebook pictures with your room being only a balcony away? Let me tell you—VERY_. _Whatever you've done to me, please undo it. Shit, Sakura, don't look at me like that with your big…round… Ah fuck. I'm going to kiss you now._

"What's on your mind?" he asked.

"You." She smiled. "Do you remember our first kiss?"

He let out a groan. "Don't remind me."

"Well, too bad for you," she said, her lips hovering above his, "I'm going to keep on reminding you of that moment for as long as we live…because that was when I realized that you were the one—then, now, and forever."

"_Wo ai ni_."

"What does that mean?" she asked.

"It means shut up and kiss me," he said with a lopsided grin.

O—o—x—o—O

O—o—x—o—O

-Sakura-

According to many people, you only love once in your lifetime, and all the other times are merely a form of attraction that bonds you to the other person, a feeling that is relatively close to _love_ but it isn't the same and can never replace the real thing. I have been loved numerous times in my thirty-eight years of living, and only once have I thought, '_Ah, this is love_…'

But that love died seventeen years ago.

I suppose I've always known that I haven't actually recovered from that loss, although I refuse to admit to myself. I don't know what I hope to achieve exactly by being in denial, but I do know that it's less painful this way. No one likes pain—'_unless you're a masochist_,' according to my best friend.

"So I heard that Syaoran will be coming back for the wedding."

I glance over my shoulder at said best friend.

"Argh, Sakura, you moved again!" she cries. "Stop moving or we'll never get this dress done!"

"Sorry, Tomoyo," I say apologetically.

"Have you spoken to him recently?"

"About two months ago. But only on the phone long enough for me to personally invite him to the wedding," I reply. After our breakup, there was a short duration of time in which Syaoran and I didn't speak to each other at all, but we gradually became friends again. We still kept in touch after he moved to Tokyo and visited each other once in a while. However, after I met Yue, I kept our communication to a minimum, till we stopped talking to each other altogether.

"Eriol tells me that Meiling is diagnosed with cancer again," says Tomoyo. "There's a tumor in her brain. The doctors…they've done everything they can."

"Do the children know?" I ask. I once thought it was cruel of Syaoran to ask me to be the godmother of his children, but I've come to love them as my own. Distancing myself from Syaoran has also meant that I've had to stop interacting with the children, apart from the frequent presents I would send them. Sometimes, I would close my eyes and imagine: _what if they have been his and mine_? Wouldn't we all be so happy together, just the four of us?

Tomoyo stops fumbling with the hem of my dress. "Sayuri is still too young to understand, but Ren on the other hand… Syaoran has no idea what to do with him."

"Ren is very much like Syaoran," I say, thinking back fondly of our childhood. "I'm not surprised that Syaoran doesn't know what to do with the boy. I mean, he hardly knew what to do with himself when he was Ren's age."

Tomoyo responds with a smile and goes back to working on the dress.

"I'm okay," I say to her, knowing exactly what she's thinking.

Tomoyo and I met each other in college, and we've been inseparable since. She's my second best friend after Syaoran—yes, I still consider him my best friend. After all, no one knows me as well as him; in fact, he probably knows me a lot better than I know myself.

I'm not the only who's aware of the little fact that I've been hung over on Syaoran since yesterday and forever ago.

I'm sure the entire world knows.

I don't have much of a poker face, unfortunately.

I know people have been saying that the reason I've been single until now is because I've been waiting for Syaoran. Maybe that's how it is, maybe not. To be honest, I don't really know what I want. Over the years, I've lost the ability to feel many things…to dream…to desire. For a very long time now, I've let life run its course and allowed myself to be drifted along. One might even say that, in a way, I've given up trying to make something of life.

"Have you told Yue?" Tomoyo suddenly asks.

"About Syaoran? I was under the impression that my relationship with Syaoran is common knowledge in Tomoeda."

Tomoyo rolls her eyes and gives me an exasperated look. "You hadn't always been so sarcastic and wary of people, Sakura."

"People change, Tomoyo."

"No, people don't change on their own," she says, the sadness evident in her voice. "_Things_ make people change. You have to tell him."

"He already knows that I was in an abusive relationship," I say.

"I'm not talking about that."

Pulling up my dress, I quickly step off the stool and go pour myself a glass of water from the fridge. "I don't want to talk about it, Tomoyo."

"Sakura, you're marrying him in seven days, he _deserves_ to know why you can't have children."

There.

There it is.

Oh, God, it hurts.

Please make it stop. I don't want it to hurt. I hate pain.

I absolutely hate pain.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Kinomoto Sakura, do _not_ cry. Don't you dare cry! Not now, not ever.

"Sakura?" a voice suddenly calls out from the foyer as the sound of the front door closing follows.

"That must be Yue," I say, thankful for the interruption. "I better go upstairs and change before he sees me in the dress. I lied and told him that you keep the dress at the shop so he doesn't know it's actually in the house."

Tomoyo suddenly winks at me. "In the kitchen!" she hollers.

"Tomoyo, you big meanie!" I yell at her and quickly run for the stairs, taking them two at time and almost tripping over the dress like twice or thrice. When I reach the top, I can hear Yue coming into the kitchen and asking Tomoyo of my whereabouts. She tells him that I'm upstairs running a hot bath for him and asks him about his day.

As I'm getting out of my wedding dress, I hear laughter coming from downstairs and wonder what they're talking about. If I have to take a wild guess, I would say that Tomoyo is telling Yue another crazy story about her kids—Hikaru, Hotaru, and Hatsu are always an entertaining topic of conversation. How two of the nicest and sweetest people in this world can make such mischievous and rambunctious children, I do not know. The triplets are spawns of Satan, end of story. When they were little, if they weren't playing pranks on their poor parents, they were bullying the neighborhood kids until they all ran home crying to their mommies. And now, as tweens, they're a lot smarter in their wicked ways—with age come wisdom, I suppose. Don't get me wrong, they aren't bad children.

_They're…spirited_, I remember Yue saying once.

He didn't have much of a reaction when I told him that I can't ever have children but I know that deep down, he was very disappointed. One day, when it's already too late, he's going to look back and regret the decision to marry me anyway. And then… I'll lose him too, along with many other things God has taken away from me. I don't hold it against Him however.

Someone once said to me, '_I can't control the future, but I can certainly dictate it_.'

Everything that has happened in my life is merely a result of my actions…my choosing.

O—o—x—o—O

-Syaoran-

Growing up, I only had one goal in mind, which was to make my mother proud. All I ever wanted to do was to make something of myself and give her the easy life that she more than deserved. At the tender age of six, I already knew how difficult it was for my mother to be both mother and father; fixing every situation, always being there for me, and making me her whole life. I was my mother's drive, her will to get through and to survive. I've always wanted to ask my mother if she regrets it—that if given the choice again, would she choose differently, would she have chosen the abortion instead.

I already know her answer though. I can practically picture her saying 'no' with a gentle smile on her face.

My mother is my hero.

She has greatly influenced my life—I am who I am today all because of her. Except…

…I've disappointed her.

She never actually said those words out loud, but I could see them in her eyes, even as she was lying in her deathbed. Her last words to me were: _I wish I can say that I have no regrets, but everyone has one or two regrets they wish to pretend don't exist. My only regret is that, in teaching you what is right and wrong and to always do right, I neglected to stress enough just how thin the line is between right and wrong. Doing what's right doesn't always make you happy—and I've only ever wanted you to be happy, Xiao Lang._

I am happy, Mother.

Do I have regrets? Of course I do. If I can go back in time and change certain events, will I? Yes. But will I give up the life that I have now? No.

I have a great job, a wonderful family, a beautiful home, and good friends who have always been there for me. What more can I ask for? God has given me pretty much everything I could possibly want and more; however, all those things came with a price—the one single thing I want most in this world but can't have.

I love her.

I never stopped loving her.

It has always been her—and only her.

"Do you remember, Mother, what you asked me on the day of my wedding?" I say, picking up the bouquet of orchids from the tombstone and smelling the flowers—_fresh_. "You asked, '_Are you ready_?'…but what you should've asked me was, 'Are you sure?', because then I might've been able to give you the answer that you wanted to hear."

I can't stop loving her.

God knows I've tried. According to Meiling, I just haven't tried hard enough, and maybe that's it. Maybe the reason why I can't get a certain green-eyed, auburn-haired woman out of my head for the past decade is because I simply don't want to, unfair as it is to my wife. I'm a terrible person—I deserve to rot in hell, I know.

"Mother, how do I wish her happiness?"

How do I watch her walk down the aisle and promise eternity to another man? How do I smile and tell her that I am happy for her?

How do I let her go?

O—o—x—o—O

O—o—x—o—O

"Is Syaoran coming back this weekend?" asked Tomoyo.

Sakura stopped in the middle of painting said girl's nails. She said, "Not that I know of. Is Eriol coming to visit you?"

The raven haired girl smiled brightly. "Yes. Since Eriol is driving here, I thought perhaps Syaoran would hitch a ride with him or something."

Sakura had come up with the crazy idea of introducing her roommate to Syaoran's roommate, and not so surprisingly, the two immediately hit it off and exchanged numbers within an hour or so.

"He hasn't called to tell me that he's coming, and our mothers are inseparable, so I'm sure his mom would've told my mom if he had said anything about coming back for the weekend," said Sakura. "Our parents always throw like a feast whenever he comes back. They act like he starves himself up there or something."

Tomoyo giggled. "Well, at least when you two get married, neither of you will have to worry about impressing the in-laws."

"Ha-ha, very funny."

"Don't tell me you haven't even thought of marriage. You two have been dating for like how many years already?"

"Six," Sakura answered with a small smile. "And I have thought of it actually. But Syaoran still has to get into law school and after that it'll be a few years before he graduate, so we're not in a hurry to get married."

"But you guys have talked about it, right?"

"Of course," Sakura said. "What's with all these talks about marriage, Tomoyo?"

"Nothing. Just curious," the other girl replied shortly. Sakura looked at her skeptically until she threw her hands up and said, "I just wanna know if it's normal to be thinking of marriage already, or if it's too early and I'm just being silly…"

"I don't think you're being silly at all," Sakura said. "I think you and Eriol were made for each other. Well, my opinion might be a little biased anyway since I'm responsible for hooking you two up."

A knock suddenly came at the door.

"Don't move," Sakura instructed Tomoyo and went to answer the door. "Oh hey, Rika!" she greeted her dorm's RA. "Tomoyo and I are painting each other's nails; do you want to join us?"

"I'd love to! Oh, but I came by to tell you that you have a guest waiting in the front lobby," said the other girl.

"Is it Syaoran?"

Rika shook her head. "She says her name is Li Meiling."

"I don't know anyone by that name."

"Do you want me to send her away then?"

"No, it's fine," said Sakura. "I'll just go and see what she wants. Can you stay here and make sure Tomoyo doesn't move at all? I've had to redo her nails like fifty times already because she can't keep herself away from Eriol's text messages."

"That's not true!" Tomoyo hollered.

"Yeah, yeah, no need to feel embarrassed," Sakura teased her. "Well, I'll be right back."

"Chiharu is at the front desk, so call for her if you need anything," said Rika.

Sakura's first impression of Li Meiling was, '_This girl does not like me_.'

Try as she might have, the girl couldn't hide the displeasure on her face at the sight of Sakura to save her own life.

"I'm sorry, but do I know you?" asked Sakura.

"My name is Li Meiling," the black-haired girl introduced herself. "I'm a classmate of your boyfriend."

"Oh." Sakura didn't know what to say after that. She could only quietly observe the girl standing before her; all the while wondering why in the world Syaoran's classmate would come all this way to see her, and what for.

"I'm pregnant…and Syaoran is the father."

O—o—x—o—O

O—o—x—o—O

-Sakura-

"A visit from you has never been a good thing," I say upon answering the door.

"The same can be said for you," the woman retorts.

"Nice hair," I remark with a snicker, holding the door open and gesturing for her to come in. "Pink looks good on you."

"Since I have to wear a wig, I might as well make it worthwhile. Is your fiancé home?"

"No," I reply. "My mom and Tomoyo officially kicked him out of the house yesterday. Apparently it's unlucky for us to live under the same roof so close to the wedding. Who knew, right? I heard you guys were coming back for the wedding, but I didn't expect to see you so soon. I'm making lunch right now so…"

Meiling starts to follow me into the kitchen. "You have a lovely home," she remarks.

"Thanks. Yue built it," I say. "Need a tour?"

"If you're not busy," the woman answers back.

God, she sure can get on my nerves.

"Can I get you anything to drink?"

She shakes her head and sits at the breakfast bar. "I'm fine. Thanks anyway."

"So what brought you here today?" I ask.

"I see you don't like to beat around the bush."

"No, I prefer to whack down the brush instead."

The black-haired woman smiles, a genuine one. "I'm sure if we were under any other circumstances or in an alternative universe, you and I can be great friends."

I don't particularly _like_ Li Meiling—let's be honest, I'm not her favorite person in the entire world either—but we don't actually hate each other's guts. There's no reason for hostility between the two of us. When Syaoran and I started to become friends again, Meiling and I came to the understanding that there was nothing she and I could do to rid of the other person's existence in Syaoran's life; I suppose you can say we came to a truce of some sort.

"Thank you…" The gentleness in her voice is surprising to me. "…for not feeling sorry for me."

But I do feel sorry for her…

… How can I not?

She's dying. Of all the things I've secretly wished would happen to her in the past, dying has never been one of those things. In fact, I've always prayed that she would somehow conquer this sickness—if not for her sake, then at least for Syaoran and the kids. Ren and Sayuri need their mother, and Syaoran . . . Syaoran needs his wife.

"Why are you here, Meiling?" I ask again, looking up from the sandwiches I've been working on.

"You're making a lot of food," she says, instead of answering my question.

"Luncheon with my mother and the bridesmaids," I explain. "My way of showing thanks for all that they've done in preparing for the wedding. You should stay and join us."

"Ah, no, it's okay…"

"No one is going to bite," I say to her. I know that Meiling is reserved towards those of Syaoran's and mine mutual acquaintances. That's why Syaoran couldn't stay in Tomoeda; because she didn't feel comfortable living here. I think she believes that when people look at her, they only see the reason why Syaoran and I didn't work out.

"I'm fine really," she assures me. "I'll see all of them at the wedding anyway."

"And why are you here?" I ask again.

"I love Syaoran," she says all of a sudden.

"Yes, you told me that many years back."

"I love him more than you ever did and ever will."

"And what basis do you have for that claim?" I can't help blurting out. I feel like something loathsome and bitter is rising in me.

"I fought for him. I didn't just leave."

"If you're here to pick a fight, then get out," I say between gritted teeth. "I invited you into my home and treated you very cordially when I could've just slammed the door to your face. Watch your words, Li Meiling. If I were you, I'd spend my remaining days with my loved ones rather than digging up old memories."

"I don't want to fight," she says.

"Then why are you here?"

"Syaoran doesn't know that I'm here," she starts saying. "Because Ren still has exams this week, the kids and I aren't supposed to come for a few more days. Syaoran is here alone. Why do you think that is?"

"I haven't seen him at all," I say.

"That's not what I'm getting at."

"What _are_ you getting at?" I feel myself slowly losing patience. "If you have something to say, say it. If there's something you need me to do, then ask. Goddamn it, Meiling, just get to the point!"

"Why have you decided to get married? For years, you've given everyone the impression that if the person isn't Syaoran, then you won't say your vows. So why now?"

"Like everyone, you're giving Syaoran too much credit and not enough to Yue," I say. "Have any of you even stopped to consider that, perhaps, the reason why I've decided to get married is because I actually see a future with this man? Or even the fact that my choosing to be single has absolutely _nothing_ to do with Syaoran? Maybe I just didn't want to get married until now. Maybe I _liked_ being alone. And maybe I don't _feel_ anything for Syaoran at all anymore."

Snatching an apple from the fruit bowl sitting on the counter, she takes a bite and looks at me with eyes that said, '_Who are you trying to fool?'_

And really—who _am_ I trying to fool?

"What do you want from me, Meiling?" I ask; feeling defeated. "Please just say it and go."

"I know that you and Syaoran had a one-night stand twelve years ago. I just want to know…that baby—was it his?"

* * *

«—**to be continued**—»

One down, six more to go… O_O


	2. day two

Please think of this story as a very long one-shot that's been broken up into 7 chapters. Oh, and I forgot to say last chapter that the little snippet at the start of every chapter is actually lyrics from the song, **What Are Words **by** Chris Medina**.

This is a SakuraxYue chapter. Next chapter is SyaoranxMeiling.

And don't worry, I haven't forgotten about LaOD. It's just progressing very…very…_very_ slowly (hopefully I'll have chapter 12 out next weekend – no promises however; I've learned my lessons). Thanks for reading C:

* * *

「what ◦ _are_ ◦ words」

**Day T****w****o**

.◦.  
_Every single promise I'll keep.  
Cause what kind of guy would I be  
if I was to leave when you need me most? _  
.◦.

"Sakura?" Yue looks like he has just gotten out of bed, which is probably the case considering what time it is. It's two in the morning and I should be in bed, but instead I'm standing outside my fiancé's hotel room because, as hard as I've tried, I can't seem to fall asleep. "Is everything okay?" he asks.

"Yeah, everything is fine," I say, putting on a smile. "I just didn't realize how much I would miss you."

And he smiles.

Yue rarely smiles, but when he does, it's magical.

One might say that Yue is a man of few expressions if they happen to meet him on the street. Often seen wearing an indifferent expression and nothing else—whether it be happiness, sadness, anger, displeasure or otherwise lack of—Yue is the billboard for a poker face. Only a really stupid person would call it a defense mechanism of some sort. Honestly I think he was just born that way.

If the man seems to give off an air of arrogance, that's because he is indeed arrogant. He knows that he is _that_ much more accomplished, smarter and better looking than most people; that's probably the most irritating thing about him.

But once you get to know him… Once you get past 'Yue, the talented and successful architect' to just 'Yue, the man'…

…As I gaze up into his eyes, I can't help asking myself: _Why can't I love this man?_

O—o—x—o—O

O—o—x—o—O

"Excuse me, sir," Sakura said to the man in line in front of her, "but I was in line first. You see, I was getting my wallet out of my purse and some coins fell out. I was picking up the coins when you went ahead of me and—"

"And?" he cut her off. "You were taking your sweet time and I'm in a bit of a hurry. What's one person getting in front of you?"

Sakura had never been more annoyed in her entire life. Did people just not have basic manners anymore?

Her inner Jiminy Cricket told her to let it go, but how could she?

If the man had been an elderly person—hell, if he had been _polite_ about it—she could've cared less about him cutting in line in front of her. But, no! He had been outright rude. He didn't even say 'Excuse me'—_AND_ he had the audacity to look down at her condescendingly as if saying that _she_ was in his way.

"Well, what's one person being in front of _you_ that you don't even have the courtesy to ask if it's okay to cut in front of me?" Sakura retorted. "And maybe I wouldn't have needed to take my sweet time if you had offered to help."

The man narrowed his eyes at Sakura and said, "It's just coffee."

"It's not about the coffee," growled Sakura. "It's about your lack of manner."

To emphasize her point, Sakura poked the man hard in the chest several times, which probably wasn't a very good idea. Because he grabbed her wrist and snarled, "I guess you've never been taught that it's _impolite_ to point."

Sakura feigned a gasp. "Oh my, the _barbarian_ knows about politeness!" His eyes narrowed again, causing Sakura to snort and say, "If you glare hard enough, maybe my head will explode."

"I'm sorry," the man suddenly said, his voice a lot gentler, "I'm at fault. Please, miss, go ahead—you were in front of me and I was a complete asshole."

"Oh" was all Sakura said; not knowing how to respond to him. She didn't detect any sarcasm in his voice either. "No…I can't say I'm free of blame—I can be a little hotheaded. And you were right, it's just coffee. Please go ahead, I insist."

Now that she had calmed down just a bit, she could take a good look at the man. He was possibly one of the handsomest men she had ever seen. He was tall and lean, but still fairly well-built, and he was very light-skinned, almost pale even—though not to the point where he appeared unhealthy. He had long silver hair, impossibly long, and silver none the less, and light blue-gray eyes that seemed to take in everything they saw, with very little inclination to give anything in return. His lashes were full and thick. On any other man his features might have looked feminine, but they were just perfect on him.

He gave her a nod and turned around to make his order. A large mocha latte macchiato, half soy, half non-fat, extra hot with whipped cream, 1 pump vanilla, 1 pump toffee nut, 1/2 shot of regular espresso and 1/2 shot of decaf, 2 packets of Sweet 'n' Low, 1/2 pack of NutraSweet, light caramel sauce, and extra foam.

Sakura looked down at her watch. Yup, she was going to be late for work. Good thing she was her own boss—well, one of three bosses. She and two friends started an interior design company together right out of college; Sasaki Rika was in charge of accounting and bookkeeping functions as well as the general management of the company payroll, financial, and bank transactions, Mihara Chiharu was responsible for marketing and public relations, and Sakura took care of the actual labor. _Serendipity Interiors_ had since grown from a small business of three to twenty or so people, with lots of room to grow still.

Sakura tried to guess what the man in front of her did for a living. Judging from the Armani suit he was wearing, he had to be bringing in the big bucks.

The cashier handed him his order when he suddenly asked for a large chai tea as well. Sakura was thankful he was standing with his back to her so he couldn't see her rolling her eyes. Well, at least the tea didn't take as long to make.

The man paid for both drinks and dropped a couple of large bills into the tip jar, and Sakura couldn't help but notice the silver Rolex on his wrist. He was certainly a fan of the big designer brands, wasn't he?

"Ah, your coffee!" the cashier called out to him when he only took the tea and left the cup of coffee sitting on the counter.

"I don't drink coffee," he said. A triumphant smirk spread across his face as he turned and addressed Sakura, "I do hope the rest of the week goes a lot smoother for you. But, luckily, it's just one week." With those final words, he strolled over to the door and left without a backward glance; leaving Sakura feeling utterly miffed by the implication behind his words.

Again, she had never been more annoyed in her entire life.

-x-

"So you just took his coffee?" Syaoran laughed heartily on the other line, and what he said afterwards made Sakura feel even more ridiculous. "I'm sorry to say this, Sakura—but you had it coming."

"You're supposed to be on my side!" Sakura whined into the phone. She had to talk to someone after the incident at the coffee shop, and Syaoran was the first person to come to mind. People do say that old habits are hard to break. "The coffee is absolutely delicious though."

Sakura could picture Syaoran snorting and rolling his eyes at her. "I thought you said that you have an important client meeting today."

"I'm supposed to meet with some guy from A&N today," Sakura replied. "The only thing his assistant told me was that he'd drop by, so I pretty much have to stay at the office all day waiting for him. See, this is why I hate architects."

"How did Serendipity get a job with the biggest architectural firm in the area?"

"You know Yanagisawa Naoko, the artist? Rika is friends with her. Yanagisawa-san is opening an art museum in Tomoeda and has hired us to do the interior design, but the building itself is an entirely different matter. So we're collaborating with an architectural firm," Sakura explained. "It's our biggest job yet. I'm super excited but anxious at the same time since this project pretty much determines what kind of future the company will have."

"You'll do a great job," said Syaoran.

"And how are you?" she asked.

"I'm fine," he answered, but Sakura didn't miss the weariness in his voice. "Touya and Kaho are very kind to let Ren stay with them while I stay with Meiling at the hospital."

"She'll be fine, Syaoran," Sakura said, hoping to make him feel better. "She beat it once, she'll beat it again."

"…Yeah…"

"Well, I'm arriving at the office so I'll talk to you later," said Sakura, getting out of the taxi.

"Okay. Try not to kill that architect."

"Ha-ha. Very funny. Tell Touya to bring Ren down here for a visit."

"Okay, I'll talk to him about it. Talk to you later."

Sakura entered the lobby of _Serendipity Interiors_ and greeted the receptionist. "Morning, Chisato."

Chisato looked up from her computer. "Morning, Sakura. There's a man from A&N here to see you. Rika is with him in the conference room."

Sakura thanked the girl and headed down the hallway; stopping by her office first to drop off a few things.

Upon entering the conference room, Sakura cursed her stupid luck.

"Sakura, this is Yue-san," Rika introduced the man sitting across from her. "This is Kinomoto Sakura, our senior interior designer."

The silver-haired man pushed his seat back and approached Sakura with a relatively pleasant smile. Sakura bit her bottom lip and hissed at the pain. Nope, she wasn't dreaming.

Sakura extended her hand to greet him. "To think we would run into each other again," she said, disguising the acidity in her voice with a professional smile. "It's a pleasure to be formally introduced, Yue-_san_."

"There's no need for honorifics," the man said. He shook her hand and said to just call him _Yue_. "I'm looking forward to working with you."

It was a good thing Sakura had decided to leave the coffee—_his_ coffee in her office.

-x-

The room was dark, save for what light came in from the hall.

Clothes were scattered on the floor, leaving a trail from the door to the bed.

"_Ahh_…I'm going to—" A curtain of silver hair fell over Sakura as Yue covered her mouth with his.

"Not yet," he said; his voice dangerously husky. She yielded to his kiss, her control slipping away with every breath, every moan, every rustle of the sheets, and every creak of the mattress springs.

Cruel…She wanted to tell him that he was cruel. So, so cruel…

Sakura couldn't take much more. Her vision began to blur, her body went numb in different places, and her senses reeled at the sensation of him being inside her, all of him. His touch was devastating; like fire on her skin. _More_, the word was just on the tip of her tongue.

"_Sakura_—" He punctuated her name with trailing kisses down her neck.

Sakura pushed his head away with a frown. "No names," she reminded him. "That's for lovemaking—and we are _not_ making love."

"I forgot."

"You _never_ forget anything."

He didn't grace her with a response, and instead continued to kiss his way down her body. A bite of her peaked rosebud was all it took to send her off the edge into an earth-shattering oblivion.

As Sakura came crashing down from paradise, she began to wonder how they'd gotten to this point—they'd certainly come a long way from when they'd just met each other two years ago. At the beginning of their acquaintance, a verbal war broke out every time they were in the same room for more than five minutes, and the idea of being within a mile radius of the silver-haired man sent nasty chills down her spine. Granted they still fought like cats and dogs but somewhere along the way, fighting had become less about _shutting_ the other person up and more about pleasure. They would argue then have sex, argue then have sex, argue-sex, argue-sex, argue-sex…

Sakura couldn't quite remember _how_ this weird relationship between them had come to be, but _it_ started at a function sponsored by Yanagisawa Naoko in honor of the completion of the Yanagisawa Museum of Art six months after the project start date. There'd been wine. Lots and lots of wine.

She had only drunk a glass that night though, which was what she found so aggravating about the whole thing—the fact that she _had_ no excuse for her action. What was his excuse anyway? _He_ had kissed her first.

"You didn't finish." It was meant to be a thought in her head.

He looked at her, amused. "Are you offering?"

"It seems fair," she said.

"As admirable as your walk to the gallows, I'm going to have to decline tonight," he said. "It's rather late."

He slid off the bed and went to turn on the lights. Sakura looked at the clock on the night-table. 3:19 A.M.

Sakura hadn't expected him that night. She'd gone to bed at one thinking that he wasn't going to come over, considering how he had texted her earlier in the evening to say that he was going to eat dinner at the office because he needed to fix some idiot's mistake—his words, not hers.

Since it was so late, Sakura thought of telling him that he could spend the night…if he wanted to. But they'd never done that before—spend the night with each other. In the one and a half year that they'd been doing this, they'd only ever had sex, either at his place or hers, with the other person leaving soon afterwards. They both made it clear in the beginning that there wasn't going to be any sort of commitment, even though neither of them had seen nor been with anyone else, and that no one in their acquaintance could ever find out about their relationship, if one could hardly call it that.

"I'm going to be busy the next two weeks," he said, out of the blue, as he put his clothes back on.

Sakura had to admit, she'd become partial to Armani suits.

"New project?" she asked. She walked over to him and helped him with his tie; she hated the way he usually did his ties.

"More or less, depends how you look at the word new. I'll be busy fixing the aforementioned idiot's mistakes."

"Going from _mistake_ to _mistakes—_that bad, huh?"

"Worst case scenario is we have to tear down the building and start all over from scratch. Can you believe that I wasn't given the assignment to begin with because the guy who was formerly in charge had seniority by a couple of years? If I may be so bold as to say senior management is regretting their decision with each passing second."

"Someone is obviously happy with the situation."

"Ecstatic," he said. "How often do you get to kick someone down on your way up?"

"I prefer to step over people, not kick them," Sakura said, half-teasing. "So what did this person do to you that you have to kick him down so brutally?"

"He called me pretty."

Sakura laughed. "Maybe he just had a crush on you. You know, you _are_ pretty."

"I have no qualms in spanking you," he warned.

"What did I call you when we first met?" Sakura pretended to tap her chin in thought. "I believe it was—" Sakura stood on her toes, lifted her head, and whispered into his left ear, "—_barbaric_."

He grabbed her around the waist so fast she let out a yelp. He threw her onto the bed and held her arms above her head; taking his tie and wrapping it around her wrists, restraining her. With an iniquitous grin on his face, he started to unbutton his trousers.

"Roll over," he instructed.

"Yue, I really don't like to be—"

He turned her over onto her stomach with ease. A shudder of both excitement and fear ran through her as he positioned her on her knees, her hands still bound above her head.

"No names, remember?" he purred into her ear. Then he added in a soft whisper, "I won't hurt you."

She didn't know if he was saying that because he could feel her shaking beneath him, or if he was able to read her like an open book with his ever-knowing eyes.

"_Sakura_…"

She relaxed against him. She didn't bother telling him that names weren't allowed; she liked the sound of her name coming from his lips.

-x-

The jerk lied.

He said he was going to be busy for two weeks. A month had passed already and she had not seen nor heard from him since that night, not even a simple text to tell her that he was still alive.

Not that she _missed_ the man, or was worried about him or anything.

"Sakura?"

She quickly flipped her phone over.

Rika sat across from her with a concerned look on her face. "Are you feeling okay? You've been looking at your phone and spacing out a lot lately."

"Oh, no, it's nothing," she said. "Don't worry about me. Where were we?"

Rika didn't look convinced but let the matter slide anyway. "We were in the middle of talking about Roppongi."

"The district?"

"The bar in Tomoeda—you know our new project." Rika tried not to sound too exasperated.

"Oh, right. Sorry."

"Maybe we should start from the beginning," said Rika. "The client wants to add—" A knock came at the door. "Come in."

"Sorry to interrupt," said Chisato. "Sakura, Li-san is here to see you."

Even Rika was alerted by the name.

Sakura asked, "_Which_ Li-san?"

Chisato smiled sheepishly. "I guess I should've said Mr. Li."

Sakura thanked the girl and asked her to seat Syaoran in her office.

"I didn't know Syaoran was back in town," said Rika.

"This is news to me as well," Sakura said. "Do you mind if we continue this conversation another time?"

"Of course not." Rika smiled. "Tell Syaoran I say hello."

"Why don't you come and say hello yourself?"

"I have some urgent paperwork to attend to," said the other woman. "I'm sure I'll have another opportunity to speak with him."

Lies…

Rika had not spoken to Syaoran since he and Sakura broke up. Rika had never spoken ill of Syaoran, nor did she dislike the man. She just didn't like his ways of doing things. Rika had zero toleration for infidelity so she hadn't been able to forgive Syaoran for what he did to Sakura…and Meiling.

Rika had once said to Sakura a very long time ago, '_They say people who are still friends with their ex are either still in love or they never really were.'_

Sakura left Rika's office with a few thoughts on her mind. Like, why was Syaoran there? Why had she felt somewhat disappointed when it wasn't the name of a certain silver-haired man that she heard? What did Rika think of her?

Rika was the only person who knew of her one-night stand with Syaoran six years ago.

Sakura was grateful to Rika for keeping her secret. No one could ever find out…

"Hey!" Syaoran greeted her with a big smile. "Sorry for dropping by out of the blue."

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming back?" she asked; stepping into his open arms for a quick hug. "I would've rescheduled my work and taken a day off or something."

"I'm not staying long," he said. "I'm only in town for a business meeting."

"When will you be leaving?"

"Right after we grab lunch?" Syaoran said with a lopsided grin.

Sakura couldn't help but smile along with him; he would always have that effect on her…_always_.

-x-

"It feels like we've lost touch recently," he said. "For a while I started to think that you were avoiding my calls and messages."

Sakura laughed and told him how silly it was for him to think that. She went on to tell him about the many new clients _Serendipity_ had received as of late. But in all actuality…she _had_ been screening his calls and messages.

She didn't want to sink any deeper into hell.

God knows how many times she'd thought about it—the fact that Meiling was dying; that _his_ wife, the only thing standing between him and her, was going to disappear.

At one point she'd wondered if he was, perhaps, thinking of the same thing as her. And she became disgusted with herself.

The less she kept in touch with Syaoran, the less she had those thoughts, the less she thought of him, and the less she hated herself.

Not to mention she'd been distracting herself with Yue. And speaking of the silver-haired man who hadn't contacted her in a month because he was super "busy"…

…he was staring at her from across the room.

He was in the company of a brunette. They seemed rather familiar with each other, so meeting with a client for lunch was immediately crossed off the mental list in Sakura's head of who and what he could be doing there…with a woman.

Sakura pretended to not see him at all.

"Wow, that's amazing, Sakura!" Syaoran exclaimed after listening to her stories. "You guys are doing great!"

"Yeah… To think if we had given in to our fears, Rika, Chiharu and I wouldn't be where we are today," said Sakura. "But enough about me. Let's hear about you, Mr. Big-Shot-Lawyer."

Syaoran chuckled. "I'm nowhere near being a big shot as you are. I'm still an associate."

"Whatever happened to making partner at 35?" Sakura teased him.

"Well, I'm only thirty-two," he played along good-naturedly. "I still have three more years to make a fifteen-year-old boy's dreams come true."

It wasn't that he couldn't make partner at his law firm—he could've been a partner by now if he'd wanted to. He just didn't have the time.

Sakura wondered if Syaoran saw the irony that she did. The things he had done and given up to achieve his life-long dream…only to give up that dream in the end.

Did he regret it?

"How is Ren?" Sakura asked. "I bet he has grown so much I won't be able to recognize him anymore."

"I think he's hitting that rebellious stage," said Syaoran.

"Already?" Sakura paused as the server brought out their entrées, continuing once she disappeared again. "He is like, what, ten?"

"A 10-year-old who has run away from home at least five times this month."

"Run away!?"

"It's okay, he only 'ran' to your brother's place."

"…which is right down the street from yours…gosh, you had me scared for a minute there. What did you do anyway?"

"What do you mean by what did _I_ do?" Syaoran sounded annoyed.

"Well, you had to have done or said something for him to act out like that," she said, taking a sip of her water. "Now, Syaoran, I'm not saying that you were at fault so stop looking at me like that."

"He hasn't been listening to me, whether I tell him to do his homework, brush his teeth, pick up his toys, or whatever," said Syaoran. "So I took away his gaming system."

"And he ran away from home? What does Meiling say?"

"Nothing."

"Like literally nothing?"

Syaoran gave a little shrug.

"That's the problem then. One of you needs to sit the boy down and give him a good spanking," Sakura remarked.

"Meiling doesn't believe in physical disciplines."

"Well, he's your son too, isn't he? You're his father, so if you feel that—" He simply smiled at her. Sakura stabbed at the steak in front of her, feeling somewhat awkward. "Syaoran, I…"

"It's okay," he said. "I feel better just by talking to you."

"I only wish I could be more helpful," Sakura said earnestly. "I'm really glad you and Touya ended up living close to each other. To be honest, I was kind of worried for your well-being. We both know how much Touya _loved_ you when we were growing up."

"With Kaho and four girls in the house, I think he's just happy to see anything with a penis."

Sakura burst out laughing. "I guess that would explain how you and Touya are able to get along so well all these years," she said. "I'm actually kind of—" Her phone dinged, indicating she had a new text message. She saw the word 'Yue' very briefly at the top of the screen. She'd almost forgotten that he was there…at the same restaurant…sitting across the room from her…with another woman.

Oh, right, she was supposed to be mad at him.

_Busy_ her ass. Ha!

Sakura apologized to Syaoran. "Give me a minute," she said and checked her text message.

_Yue: Who is he?_

She typed back: _No one you know._

"Work?" asked Syaoran.

"What? Ah, no, just some…stuffs. But where was I? Oh, right! I was just about to say that I'm actually kind of jealous of you and Touya," said Sakura.

"Jealous?"

"We're supposed to be best friends, right? But I feel like Touya is slowly replacing me as the 'best friend'. And Touya and I are supposed to be siblings, but I've never been as close to him as you have. Sure, he has always been overprotective of me but that's as far as our relationship go, not counting the whole blood is thicker than water thing."

Syaoran chuckled. "You should say everything you've just said to Touya."

"No, thank you. I will never give him that pleasure."

"I went to visit my mother's grave earlier," said Syaoran, changing the subject. "I can't express enough how much it means to me that you still keep her in your mind and heart even after all these years… I don't know how to say thank you."

"There's no need for you to thank me," said Sakura. It had become a habit of hers to visit his mother's grave every morning; to leave a bouquet of Yelan's favorite flower on her tombstone and say good-morning. "Yelan was like a second mother to me—I really miss her, you know. My parents go every weekend. I can assure you, we all visit her grave because we miss her, not out of obligation but out of love. So don't thank us, okay?"

They shared a small smile.

"And are you see—" he started saying when her phone dinged again.

She looked at him apologetically. "Go on."

"It's fine," he said. "Check your message. It could be important."

_Yue: I'm coming over tonight._

_Sakura_:_ I have a date tonight._

And she did. That 'date' was a late night at the office but he didn't have to know that.

Sakura hid her grin behind a napkin.

"Good news?" Syaoran asked.

"I guess you can say that," she said.

"I need to use the restroom so I'll be right back." Syaoran excused himself.

Yue was looking in her direction; there was nothing discreet in the way he muttered something to his companion and followed behind Syaoran when he walked past.

Sakura grabbed for her phone and dialed his number.

The line rang twice before he picked up. "Hello."

"What do you think you're doing?" she hissed into the phone.

"I'm using the restroom," he drawled on the other line.

"That's mighty convenient timing you have there."

"You can't possibly suggest what I think you're suggesting."

"And you can't possibly be doing what I think you're doing," she retorted.

"Who is he?"

"No one you know."

"No one I need to know, or _someone_ I shouldn't know about?"

"What is it to you? Do you see me asking you about the woman you're with? No, because I don't ca—"

"My ex-wife."

"What?"

"She's my ex-wife. And she's also my boss, as well as my sister-in-law. Anything else you need clarifying while we're at it?"

"…care…"

"What?"

"I don't care." She quickly hung up.

His ex-wife…

Sakura gazed in the direction of said woman.

She'd heard plenty of gossips about Yue from Chisato. At one point he'd been married to the granddaughter of one of the founders of A&N. However, the marriage ended after only three years when his wife left him and later re-married his twin brother, a relatively unknown face.

Syaoran came back to the table, saying, "You cannot believe the conversation I overheard in the men's room."

"Oh?" Sakura feigned interest.

"This guy was saying that his ex-wife is also his boss _and_ sister-in-law. Can you believe that? The poor man."

"Yeah…so poor," said Sakura.

She received another text message from Yue. It read: _You do care_.

Sakura scoffed.

The arrogant man.

O—o—x—o—O

O—o—x—o—O

I like waking up next to Yue in the morning. There's something calming about opening my eyes and just seeing him _there_.

I can stare at him for hours and the only thought that'll cross my mind is how utterly beautiful the man looks with his long shimmering silver hair splayed across the pillow like strands of silk. I can trace my finger over his features and the only guilty feeling I have is the fear of waking him up. I can even kiss him when he opens his eyes and the only truth I know is that he is mine.

I don't have to feel bad… feel like I'm doing something unbelievably horrible.

I don't have to feel shameful of myself afterwards.

"May I get up now?" Yue's voice startles me. "Or, have you not had enough yet? Should I let you admire me some more?"

I lightly whack his chest. "I was not admiring you!"

"What time is it?"

"A quarter past seven."

"How long have you been up?"

"Not long. Should I ask room service to bring up breakfast, or do you want to eat downstairs?"

"Or we can sleep a little more and get brunch instead," he says.

"Have you forgotten that you have work?"

"No, unfortunately, I have not." He looks exhausted. "I'll just call in and take half the day off."

Some people might put 110% into their work, but Yue gives everything he does 200%. I once told him that he's only going to burn himself out; I guess that time has finally come upon us.

"Nakuru offered me a senior management position," he says. "I'm thinking about it."

"What's there to think about? You _hate_ office duties," I say to him.

"I'm turning 45, it's high time I let the younger ones have their chances. Right now all the big projects go to me first."

"Wasn't it the same when you started out? I'm pretty sure someone didn't just hand you a big assignment right off the bat, and you have had a ton of people ahead of you yet you still managed to make it to the top. If those younger ones really want it, they'll work hard. There's no reason for you to stop doing what you love and pick up a job that you absolutely hate."

"I'll make more money."

"And what are we going to do with more money? Between you and me, we have more than enough. If your only options are to take an executive position or stay where you are and be known as the overachieving old fart in your department, then you might as just retire."

"Old fart?"

I smile at him. "Well you make turning 45 sounds like you're preparing for your funeral."

Though he doesn't actually talk about it, I know Yue is worried about getting closer to 50. Like women and menopause, men also go through a stage of unfounded fears—the dreaded "mid-life" crisis. I think he was looking forward to marrying and having children before reaching the age of fifty; except it didn't work out exactly as he planned. So now he's wondering where his life will go from here.

"And what should I do if I retire?"

"Be a stay-at-home husband?"

"Like Yukito?" The corner of his lips twitch, and I can tell he does not like the mental picture he's getting in his head. "Absolutely not."

"You can work for me."

"Work for you?"

"We have had to collaborate with other architectural firms a few times. Some experiences were better than others," I say. "It would be nice if _Serendipity_ has its own architect, and a relatively famous one at that."

He arches an eyebrow and says, "_Relatively_ famous?"

"Your ego can use a little deflating once in a while," I tease him.

Grinning, he pulls me closer to him. "Just don't deflate it too much, will you?"

"I'll try. Oh and hey, if it makes you feel any better, you still look like a hot piece of meat."

He snorts.

I laugh and reach up to kiss him.

O—x—O

Yue ends up going to work after all—as if Nakuru will let him take half a day off anyway. With Yue and me leaving for our one-month honeymoon to Europe the morning after the wedding, Nakuru intends to make him get as much work done as possible in what little time is left, because he's an "irreplaceable resource to the company" and it'll be tough getting the same quality of work when he's gone. Or so the woman says. What I think she means is that it's not every day you get an employee who can handle the workload of five people—that's four people she doesn't need to waste time, money, and resources hiring.

We didn't even get to have breakfast together.

And so I end up moping around his hotel room with nothing else to do. In preparation for the wedding, Rika and Chiharu have made sure to clear my schedule for the next month, so there's no point in me showing up at the office.

You'd think that with the wedding just a few days away, I'd be swamped from head to toe with wedding things to do…but I'm not.

Fortunately—or _unfortunately_—I have a team of bridesmaid (and a mother) who have been planning my wedding in their heads for many years now. Yue and I only need to show up for the wedding and say our vows. Can't say we don't like having a passive role in the wedding planning process; I mean if we didn't have to take into account the feelings of our families and friends, we would've gone to City Hall and call it a day already.

The word 'wedding' lost a certain connotation in my mind long before I even met Yue.

Don't get me wrong, I'm looking forward to marrying him. It's just, if we speak in terms of 'once upon a time' then, yeah, the thought of a perfect wedding makes me all giddy inside; but once upon a time is exactly what it is—once upon a time.

Wedding… Marriage… Love… Those words no longer have that 'magical' feeling they used to.

I like to think that Yue and I are marrying for practical reasons. All of which have nothing to do with love.

This is why I don't like being by myself with nothing to do; my mind starts to ponder about _things_.

Unnecessary…and troublesome things…

I grab the TV remote and turn up the volume, hoping to drown out my thoughts.

I look over to the clock on the bedside table; it's 11:27 A.M. Maybe I should grab some breakfast. Or lunch. I haven't eaten all morning and I am getting a little hungry.

But for some reason I feel weary to my very core; too exhausted to even move a muscle. My back is stiff and sore, and my pelvic has started to ache, as did my legs; however, the pain isn't so bad that I have to curl up and cry my eyes out. I know that in time the pain will go away, it always does.

Pain comes and goes.

Knowing that I'll just have to deal with it, that no one will come to my rescue, I close my eyes and wait.

I hate pain.

I absolutely hate pain.

When I open my eyes again, it's already late into the evening, or night. It's hard to tell with all the lights off and the blinds closed.

I don't remember when I fell asleep, or know how long I've been sleeping; but from the look of things, I must've been dead to the world because I didn't even hear my phone go off.

7:49 P.M.

Four missed calls: one from Touya and three from Yue.

And a text message from Tomoyo telling me to come over for dinner.

I already know why Touya called—he's coming back tonight—so I don't really need to call him back, I'll just go see him tomorrow or something when I feel a lot more like myself. I send Yue a text instead of calling him back; I'm sure he's busy anyway.

And I give Tomoyo a call to tell her that I'm on my way over.

O—x—O

"You were right," I say to Tomoyo.

She stops stirring the pot of boiling pasta and looks at me.

"About Yue needing to know what happened to me I mean," I clarify. "I will tell him soon. It won't be easy but…"

A gentle smile forms on her lips. "It'll be okay."

"Hopefully…"

"What are you so afraid of, Sakura?"

"I don't know," I say earnestly. "I'm not scared that he will leave me or anything along that line. I just—"

"You don't want him to feel sorry for you." Her words take me by surprise. "You and Meiling are similar in that aspect."

That's right. Tomoyo may be my best friend but she has to be friends with Meiling as well, considering the friendship between their husbands.

"Is it really that bad to have people sympathizing with you?" she asks; turning off the stove and carrying the pot over to the sink to drain the pasta.

"Sympathizing implies an understanding of what the person has gone through," I say. The tips of my fingers grow increasingly white as my grip on the tea cup tightens.

"I'm sorry, Sakura."

"You have nothing to be sorry for, Tomoyo," I assure her with a smile.

She smiles back as she set the bowl of pasta onto the breakfast bar next to the pot of spaghetti sauce. "GIRLS! Dinner is ready!" she hollers at the top of her lungs.

Two girls, mirror images of each other, come running into the room.

"Spaghetti again? Mom, you only cook good food whenever dad is home for dinner!" one of them whines. I think she's Hikaru, the oldest by a couple of minutes. Or Hotaru. Hatsu, the youngest, is usually more _docile_ so it's easy pinpointing her out of the three.

The other two, however, is a different story; only Tomoyo and Eriol are able to tell Hikaru and Hotaru apart. I can tell them apart only if Yue is in the room.

Hotaru sees absolutely nothing but the silver-haired man; the girl is practically in love with him. I think it might've been love at first sight. She always throws nasty looks—and I might be using the term 'nasty' very loosely in this situation—at me whenever I am "too" close to Yue. I admit I sometimes purposely touch Yue, like hold his hand or kiss his cheek, in her presence just to rile her up. I can't help myself—it's so cute whenever she crosses her arms and puffs her cheeks out of jealousy.

Tomoyo gives the girls a reprimanding look. "Where are your manners? We have a guest." She gestures to me sitting at the breakfast table.

"Hello, Aunt Sakura!" they chorus.

I smile at them. Hikaru/Hotaru quickly bounces over to me and asks ever so enthusiastically, "Do you already have a flower girl?"

Luckily, Tomoyo comes to my rescue. "Yes, she already has a flower girl. Besides, don't you think you're too old to be a flower girl, Hikaru?"

"How can I know I'm too old if I've never ever been a flower girl?" She sure beats Tomoyo with that logic.

"Will Yue come by later?" Hotaru asks me.

"That's _Uncle_ Yue to you," scolds Tomoyo.

Hotaru pretends not to hear her though.

"No, dear," I say. "He has work."

"Oh.. Well, will you please tell him that I've decided to let go of him?"

"And why are you letting him go?" I ask; trying very hard to keep a calm face.

"I told her from the beginning that it's hopeless," interjects Hikaru. "Uncle Yue doesn't want to go to jail."

"Okay, you two, just grab your dinner and go," says Tomoyo, pinching the bridge of her nose. "And where is Hatsu?"

"She fell asleep so we didn't wake her," answers Hotaru.

Watching Tomoyo prepare a plate of spaghetti for each of her daughters, I can't help feeling a bit envious. Motherhood looks so good on her. I guess some people are just born to be mothers, while others are not.

"Do you want to stay over?" Tomoyo asks me after the girls have taken their dinner and left the room. "It must be lonely being in that big house all by yourself, and I'd rather not have you running to Yue's hotel room again. What's the point of kicking him out of the house to prevent bad luck if you're just going to see him anyway?"

"_I_ didn't kick him out of the house," I remind her.

"Potayto, potahto."

"You and my mom are too superstitious. What can possibly go wrong?"

"Don't say that," says Tomoyo. "The devil will take it as a challenge."

"Besides, Touya just came into town so I need Yue to come with me when I go to my parents place tomorrow," I say.

"Whatever for?"

"Syaoran is in town apparently."

"Are you sure? Eriol hasn't said anything about Syaoran being in town, and I was on the phone with Meiling this afternoon and she said they're not coming for a couple more days."

"She came to see me yesterday. She said that he's been staying here…alone."

Shock passes over Tomoyo's face, then a flash of concern. "What did she want?"

"She wanted to know if Syaoran was that child's father."

"What did you tell her?"

"I told her that he wasn't the father," I say. Then a long silence falls.

Seconds turn into minutes before I look at Tomoyo out of the corner of my eye, and I see that her eyebrows are furrowed in thought.

"Syaoran still doesn't know?" she asks after finding her voice again.

"How do you think he'll feel when he finds out? I can hardly call the child mine, let alone his. Isn't it better for everyone that he doesn't know?"

* * *

«—**to be continued**—»

Jenna, I assume the length of this chapter is to your satisfaction? : P


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